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Deadly New Food Born Virus


Foodborne disease: A disease caused by consuming contaminated food or drink. Myriad microbes and toxic substances can contaminate foods. There are more then 250 known foodborne diseases. The majority are infectious and are caused by bacteria, viruses, and parasites. Other foodborne diseases are essentially poisonings caused by toxins, chemicals contaminating the food. All foodborne microbes and toxins enter the body through the gastrointestinal tract and often causes the first symptoms there. Nausea, vomiting, abdominal cramps and diarrhea are frequent in foodborne diseases.


This newly discovered strain is found primarily in fast food outlets, Potential public outcry doesn't permit us to reveal the names at this time. We do know however the name of the strain, AMPS - Acquired Metastructural Pediculosis. A "metaphysical, deconstructionist" virus spread by the consumption of low quality meats, specifically hamburgers. Symptoms begin with Palilalia as they repeat certain words (usually terms of endearment), proceeding to full Aphasia and finally

cannibalistic rage as the victim falls to insanity from an inability to express themselves clearly.


Happy April 1st! LMAO

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